Thursday, February 10, 2011

what I want.

I have started writing agian. Writing is really powerful for me, it helps me discover things about myself. This is a portion of a paper I wrote for class that I really enjoyed writing. The topic was why I'm chosing the helping profession of Psychology. So often I get caught up in talking and thinking about what I dont want to do. Who I don't want to become. It's refreshing to look back at things I've written and be reminded of what I love, what I want. And more importantly, what I want my life to be about.

I believe in the power of the human spirit. I believe that we were created for relationship, that this life is challenging at best, and at times very, very hard. I believe that we are not alone in it though.

I believe that the human spirit can be shaped and molded for good and for bad and that we as human beings have the power to affect each other greatly. At times that power is abused, and other times that power is positively transformative and profound. We were created to love, serve and live together in community. If there is ever any question about that fact we need only to look at what happens to the human mind and spirit when they are isolated from companionship and human contact.

As humans we need each other. We need God. This is my belief.

When I think about my value for relationships and how they work in our life, I have to acknowledge the fact that it is these values that drive me toward the helping professions. I have a particular interest in the counseling profession simply because of my experience and the transformation I believe can happen to a person through a sound understanding of their story, a good therapist, and most importantly God’s healing power. In order for me to fully embrace my call to this profession I had to first understand my story. I also had to embrace the fact that my story is not finished, that I like any living breathing person am in the process of growth. A process I care deeply about.

As a child I was always aware that fear was a big part of my life, I was afraid to fly, afraid of the dark, afraid of getting sick, afraid of just about everything. I had no idea where fear came from, what to do about it and it always seemed as though my fears were a burden to my parents. As an adult I now can look back and gain understanding as to why I was so fearful. Some of it was rooted in the basic human condition, but a large majority of it was due to the fact that I grew up in a very unsafe place.

I didn’t know that what my sisters and I experienced on a weekly basis was a very chaotic and unstable existence that some kids would never know. I also didn’t know how much those experiences were shaping me; creating fears, insecurities and shame that would continue into my adult life.

I heard a quote once that human beings are born with two basic fears; the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears must be learned. I grabbed hold of many additional fears in my childhood; fears that were too hard to face and eventually turned into anger. This is my story. I want to help others discover theirs. I believe that I was created to help others find out who they were truly intended to be. This belief shapes my life. Every conversation, every interaction, and every move I make. And I wonder how many other people have an understanding of what beliefs shape their life?

3 comments:

Lisa said...

i love reading your thoughts. i love your honesty and openess and willingness to share your past to help others shape their future. most of all i love you friend!!

travis collins said...

you need to write more often. you are amazing at it.

Anonymous said...

you have a wonderful way of putting complex things into comfortable language. Thank you for sharing